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Coping with a child's declining health

	One of the hardest lessons a child will learn is to grieve for someone close.

Although the majority of the 1,700 children who are diagnosed with cancer in the UK each year will be successfully treated, schools still need to be prepared for dealing with the issues that arise when a child dies. Bringing open discussions about diseases such as cancer to the classroom will give pupils the message that it's ok to talk about illness and loss.

Anna Broughton from Macmillan's Children's Bereavement Service sees these sessions as an opportunity for children who have been bereaved to open up, and a way of encouraging children to support each other. She says:

'If children are given information about life limiting conditions, like cancer, they can be helped to prepare for and cope with loss.'

When someone dies

When a death from cancer directly affects a school, teachers have an essential role to play in supporting children through the grieving process. It's important that pupils are told about the death of a classmate or teacher as soon as possible, and given all the facts. Without the correct information, rumours can start and children use their imaginations to fill in the gaps. Pupils need to be reminded, for example, that cancer is not contagious and that not everyone who has cancer will die.

Dealing with emotions

Expect a range of emotions - sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, relief - and help your class to understand that it's normal to feel a variety of, often conflicting, emotions when someone dies. Changes in behaviour are likely too. Children and young people will often express their feelings in actions rather than words. But as Anna Broughton says:

'It's important to maintain boundaries of acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour, but offer children the chance to talk about what feelings they have when they behave in that way.'

'Don't be hard on yourself if the children see you upset. This will show them that it is normal to be upset and will give them permission to do the same. It isn't a sign of weakness to need support yourself, it will make you better equipped to support your class.'

Remember, you don't have to deal with the situation alone. As well as turning to colleagues for help, there's a range of support and information available for you and your pupils when you're coping with a loss in school.

More information and support

0808 808 00 00

This is our number for everyone affected by cancer. If you have any questions about cancer, need support or just want someone to talk to, ask Macmillan. (Monday to Friday, 9am-8pm)

You can also check out the useful resources on this website for other sources of support.