Illustration of a pear on top of a pile of books

Home Class activities Facts about cancer Real life experiences Support Getting involved
HOME > Support > Emotional impact of cancer > Emotional impact on the family	Search

Emotional impact on the family

	When their child has cancer, parents may go through a range of distressing emotions – shock, helplessness, denial, anger. ‘Why my child and not me?’ they may ask themselves.

When the child’s treatment plan begins, parents will have to make difficult choices about the treatment and care their child should receive.

Coping with the needs of an ill child along with the needs of other family members can cause pressure in a family. So it’s important for the family to understand what is going to happen, what is needed, and giving them opportunities to talk about their feelings and how they can help. You may want to read ‘Our daughter had cancer’ in our Real life section, which is one couple’s story of how they coped.

Usually a parent will have to take time off work or even give up work temporarily to care for the child with cancer, so the family’s finances will be affected. Relationships can also deteriorate when people have different ways of coping, for example one family member may need to talk often and another may feel reluctant to talk openly about their emotions.

Impact on siblings

Siblings may feel overlooked if the family’s main focus is on their ill brother or sister, so this can sometimes lead to feelings of jealousy, frustration, and even anger. In addition to these feelings, siblings also worry about developing the disease themselves or more sadly their brother or sister dying. So even though parents and other family members are mainly focused on the ill child, siblings need to feel supported and connected to their family, and can even play a part in their brother or sister’s care.


	It helped everyone to know what was going on and helped us support each other better. When Bethany was being treated, it was very demanding, and it was also very hard on the other siblings because they had to take a backseat… We’re really proud of our children. They’ve coped with it better than we thought they could.Karen and Terry

Extended family members and friends

Extended family members and friends can be very supportive, but may have different reactions. Some friends and family members become uncomfortable and don’t stay in touch with the parent. It could be one of their worst fears – having a child diagnosed with cancer – so can’t cope with it being so close to home. A parent on the other hand may feel awkward relating to friends with ‘well’ children, and feel jealous, then guilty. They may feel isolated, as if their friends don’t understand what is going on.

Talk to the headteacher

The Headteacher should be aware of the wishes of the parents and the child regarding what they want the classmates and other school staff to know about the child's illness and together seek ways to support the child and siblings, even if the siblings are at a different school.

More information and support

For more information and support for a family affected by cancer contact our Macmillan CancerLine by calling 0808 808 2020 or email cancerline@macmillan.org.uk. Or check out our useful resources page for other sources of support.